Confessions

so i just got done walking with my daughter to the gas station so we could buy junk food. we walked down the road, holding hands, and talking about whatever came our way, which included bugs, string cheese, wind, and carmel pop corn. oh, and spinny dresses. it was fun. she's cute. and smart. that brings me to confession #1: i like my kid better than yours. don't take it personally, i imagine you like your kids better than mine (though for some of you i can't imagine how), but you probably would never admit it. yeah, i think my kid is the best. she deserves someone who thinks she's the best.

tomorrow i will go to work way too early, well before my shift actually starts so i can be a diligent and good employee. and once again someone will say "what are you doing here?" AS IF I DON'T F'ING DO THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS! and someone will say "i don't know why you do this." well, i'm beginning to wonder myself. the second confession is this: if it still continues to not matter that i work hard at my job then i will stop working hard. that will probably matter a lot more.

do you think i'm friendly? most people do. but the thing is, you are probably not my friend. not that i don't want to be friends with, quite the opposite, actually. i'm just introverted to a fault. i lost my last friend some time ago. i don't really know how it happened; but one day my friend was gone. that was the third confession.

i think my life has grown stale. my job, my school (or lack thereof), the pathetic lack of anything interesting that i do--i am so bored. confession #4 is that life is boring, and i don't know what to do about it.

the fifth confession is the last confession, because i am bored of writing this and i think that it was probably a stupid thing to write anyway. it is simply this: i am searching endlessly for the cathartic experience. i was hoping this was it. it wasn't.