The Myth of Me

"A myth is a way of making sense in a senseless world. Myths are narrative patterns that give significance to our existence. Whether the meaning of existence is only what we put into life by our own individual fortitude, as Sartre would hold, or whether there is a meaning we need to discover, as Kierkegaard would state, the result is the same: myths are our way of finding this meaning and significance."
~ Rollo May, 1991, The Cry for Myth, p. 15

when i was little i believed that i was the center of my parent's world, that what they did was done with me in mind. i believed that i was the most important thing to them, that my concerns were as valid as theirs, that my opinion held the same weight. this was a myth, for my parents, like most people, were complex individuals with complex lives and a variety of concerns; i was merely one of them and not always the most important one, not even most of the time.

when i was a teenager i believed that i could change the world. i believe that i could do good things and that this would inspire other people to do good things. i believed that people were not selfish, but merely ignorant. i believed that if they knew what was happening, they would act to change it, and i could lead them in this grand revolution. this was a myth. it was i who was ignorant, it was i who did not understand. it turns out people really are selfish; it turns out i am too.

when i was in college i believed that what was good would stay good, and what was bad would stay bad i believed that i knew the difference. i believed in absolutes. this was a myth. it turns out that good and bad often come as a package deal, just like love and pain. it turns out that some things, many things, are ambiguous. how much easier a black and white world is!

i have this fantasy of being remembered, that my children's children will speak of me, and tell their children about what i have done. but this is a myth. i do not remember my great-grandfather's name, nor do i know what he did or what he was like and i certainly know nothing of his hopes and dreams and if any of these were achieved. chances are it will be the same for me.

so what is the truth? it is this: "I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet, 1773-1855 (French-born Quaker Minister)