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What was I talking about? Unexpected things. Yes. I don’t really know that I had any great point. I was just thinking about it. It reminds me of the way we are all surprised when something unfair happens, as if it has never happened before, as if the world was fair or somehow owed us fairness-none of which are true. We keep (well, at least I and many of my acquaintances) expecting everything to go as planned, even though the most consistent thing in life is inconsistency. I never expected massive brain farts that knock me out for days, I never expected Miranda to die, I wasn’t even really expecting India and I sure wasn’t expecting the last 15 months to be the way they were. But then again not all of the unexpected is bad. I never expected to be able to buy a house. I never expected that my unexpected child would be so very smart and cute. I never expected God to be, well, all that he is.
In The Last Battle, the last in the Narnia series, the characters, the heroes of this story, are set to do battle with villains that they almost certainly cannot defeat. In one scene they are afraid but determined to do what they know they must and their leader encourages them by saying (this is a paraphrase) “We rest between the lion’s paws, let us take the adventure Aslan has set before us.” I love that line; it is one of my favorite lines in all of literature. In the midst of all the unfairness, the unexpected events, the sorrow and the joy-everything, there is Aslan with his giant paws around us (or, in our world, God with his strong arms holding us). So with that in mind, let us take the adventure set before us.
I received my wake up scream at 3:30 this morning. For whatever reason India was having trouble sleeping last night. I went into her room several times to sing to her and rub her back, which helped each time, just not for long. By 4:30 or so it seemed apparent that my technique wasn’t going to work so I got her out of the crib and took her into the big people’s bed. That didn’t work well either, so Jenny got up with her and took her downstairs for a while. Frustrating. She has been sleeping through the night for so long now and then…..then she shows me once again that she is the greatest theology teacher I have ever had. It is, as one might imagine, not the most pleasant experience to be woken up half-way through your sleep by a screaming baby. It takes a certain amount willpower to stand at a crib and sing and soothe when really all you want to do is sleep. It takes a whole other type of willpower to not give in to the urge to pick her up and hold her and rock her until she falls back asleep. As a dad I really can’t do anything else but respond to her crying, but sometimes I don’t respond in a way that she wants me to. Of course that makes her mad and frustrated, and I SO want to make it better, but it would not be good for her in the long run. She needs to be able to put herself to sleep. She needs to learn, by experience, that she doesn’t need to be rescued every time she has some distress, that she can handle it herself. I think God must have a similar struggle with us, his children. I know that as a Father he responds to our cries and feels our pain with us and I bet he just wants to fix it and make it better for us as well-but that is not what we really need. He is more than our Father, he is our teacher. Even if it feels like God is ignoring me I am convinced that because he is totally good, because he is the author of love, even in the midst of any of my turmoil he wants nothing but the best for me. We he needs to he swoops me up in his embrace, but when that doesn’t happen then I know that it is time for me to learn something and he must believe that I can do it. Who am I to argue?
Here is the second part of my long-winded explanation of my personal philosophy of messianic existentialism.The third ultimate concern is freedom. We are intentionally designed as free moral agents with the ability to think through what is right and what is wrong and the capacity to choose one or the other. To put it a simpler way, we have been granted free-will. The extent of this free-will is a subject of much debate; I don’t think that to assert that I am a free moral agent in anyway compromises the sovereignty of God. Let us state this, for the record: Nothing happens that God is not aware of, nothing surprises him. He either causes it to happen or he allows it to happen and everything that does happen he can use to carry out his ultimate plans, which can not be frustrated. Therefore, God is sovereign.
Now that we have established that we can return to the issue of freedom. Having been granted free-will and the capacity to choose also endows us with the responsibility of the consequences of our choices, and this, when really thought out and contemplated, is daunting. I frequently hear the phrase (and I confess often use the phrase) “I have to…”, as if I have no choice in doing whatever it is I am saying that I have to do. “I have to go to work in the morning…I have to go to the store…I have to go to bed at such and such time…I have to have my coffee in the morning…I have to smoke this cigarette…I have to have my pills…” and so on and so on. My answer to ANY “have to” is “no, you don’t.” I readily confess that there are consequences for every choice, perhaps unpleasant consequences, but the unpleasantness of the consequence does not mitigate the presence of the choice.
It is a tendency in our society, or perhaps just our nature, to seek excuses for what we or others do because we can not handle the idea that they actually chose to do whatever horrible thing it is they did. When a woman returns to a batterer we say that she has a syndrome and she can’t help but to return. When a young man abuses a younger girl we look at the abuse in his past and that that is why he did it. When a city riots we say that it is because they are oppressed and discriminated against. None of these answers are wrong, but in the end, there was always a choice to be made.
Closer to home, that means that when I am mean to my wife or yell at my child or ignore my work or eat poorly or don’t get some chore done, despite the many excuses and explanations I may have, these were all things I chose. The responsibility for my actions (or lack thereof) is mine and mine alone. One way humans have come up with to combat this horrible feeling of responsibility (other than clever excuses) is to live under rules and laws. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing either; clearly we are creatures in need of some guidance. But where the law increases guilt also increases with it and it is but another chain to burden us.
But then, Jesus. The Messiah does not remove our choice nor the consequences of our choices, but he does offer us a way to face them. First, he sets us only under one law, the law of love. We are to love God and love others; that will look differently for different people, but so long as we are acting in love (towards God and others) we are acting rightly. Second, he offers forgiveness. Indeed, the consequences for our choices go well beyond what we see and experience in this life and have effects on us for eternity. The ultimate consequence for our poor choices (or sin-whatever misses the mark of God) is death. Jesus took our place on the cross, taking our death and served as a propitiation, turning away the wrath of God and reconciling me, just as I am, to my creator. Thus I am no longer afraid of freedom. While I still must face certain consequences for poor choices I know that in his sovereignty God will make all things right and new and that in the end I will be ok-that is to say, I have been and am being saved; this is a tremendous burden removed from my soul.
The final ultimate concern is death. In addressing this I could just refer to all that has been stated already and that would cover much of it, but alas it would not satisfy my desire to write about it. So…..the fear of death and the instinct to try to survive is present in all creatures. For example, how long can you hold your breath? Let’s say for the purpose of this illustration that you can hold your breath for 30 seconds. By around second number 25 or so you are feeling a bit uncomfortable, your lungs may even be starting to hurt a bit, but in just 5 more seconds you get to breathe. Now imagine that you are forced suddenly to hold your breath. This lasts for 30 seconds, but you don’t know that. You have no idea how long it is going to last. Probably in this scenario by about second 5 you are already in pain. By second 10 or so you are panicking. By second 25 you are convinced you are going to die and are starting to give up hope. Second 31 is the greatest moment of your life because you are breathing again. We fear death.
We fear the unknown, and death is the greatest unknown there is. We fear what may be waiting for us, or not waiting for us. But Jesus tells us what is waiting for us. We know that the one who has trusted in Christ is saved from death, that when he dies he will be with Christ in Paradise and we know that the one who has not accepted the invitation will find himself in that place called Hades; so the unknown is removed. We know that there is nothing to fear for those that are saved, that they go to a place where there are no more tears. And, we know that death is not permanent. Christ has shown this by what he said and by the fact that he beat death. The resurrection began with Christ himself and will continue until all people are raised and receive their final rewards or condemnation. This is what we who like big words call inaugurated eschatology. The final stage has begun, but it is yet to finish. And so death has lost its sting for it is defeated; it is but a moment but eternal life is, well, eternal.
The ultimate concerns of the human condition: meaninglessness, isolation, freedom, and death, are all resolved and being resolved by the messiah. Because Yahweh is rapt with meaning and purpose, so too am I who am made in his image.
